Why put off until tomorrow that which can be done today? How does that work when tomorrow is today, today is tomorrow? Greetings from the future.
Team NZ attempted to purchase hot wings today at the Pak 'n Save.
Not buffalo wings. No, those don't exist here. And neither does buffalo sauce, of course. (Please send me some Bdubs Spicy Garlic or Asian Zing asap, you can tuck it in next to a big bottle of Maker's Mark!)... Kiwis don't eat bleu cheese dressing, everything is called aioli, and the ranch is suspiciously watery and lacking in flavor.
Also, there is no such thing as solid deodorant. Much to Mark's dismay, Old Spice does not exist at the grocery store and all they offer is roll on or spray. Lime flavored milk is sold everywhere and the largest amount of milk available is 3 liters... 25% less than a gallon. Enough for a Mark and a Gnarly to finish in one night.
The candybar "aisle" at the grocery store is utterly pathetic. All i can find are Twix and Snickers... and massive sized caramel Kit Kats? Not nearly as delightful as they sound... and Kinder Eggs. Mark requested i mention Kinder Eggs. It's really just a thin, sad milk chocolate shell around some mass produced plastic toy. Last time Shark got a dinosaur formed from interlocking pieces. i threw it out the window in an immature display of resent over having my window locked down. Sorry, Shark. The hind legs are all that remain. They live in the ashtray of our car now.
NZ, much like the rest of the world, does not believe in free refills on pop. They believe in small glasses and calling Sprite lemonade. They call lemonade lemon drink. Figure that shit out. It's all very confusing while i struggle to interpret Kiwi accents and terms while taking drink orders. The only place you can get free refills is at Burger King, go figure. i hate Burger King.
People like to drink lemon lime and bitters (bitters, lemonade (Sprite), and lime juice). Soda is called postmix and Mark very accurately described the "computer" i use at work to ring things up as "looking like a typewriter." It's called a till, not a cash register.
Meet Giovanni, Genevieve's Maltese. He just had a baby girl called Harriet. She sounds like a kitten and is about the size of Mark's hand. She lives upstairs but comes down to play occasionally. Gio is the most docile creature i've ever encountered, hence my suspicions of his being drugged. He's a good boy, anyways.
i own 1/3 of a right hand drive '95 Toyota Camry. Insurance is optional. Round abouts exist instead of traffic lights and stop signs. The windshield wipers are where the turn signal out to be. And turn signals are called indicators.
Today we finally signed the lease for our apartment.
Check it out: www.kingsviewresort.co.nz... Our landlord is quite possibly the coolest landlord to ever exist. No offense, CPM and University Group, all of Champaign really appreciates your quality services.
We drove out to her home this afternoon to get everything squared away and were introduced to her massive green yard with the view of seemingly endless rolling hills, pool, spa, sauna, chipping green and tennis courts. She naturally invited us to "ring" her anytime to come over and hang out. No one uses any of it anyways, she explained.
Then she led us through the guest house showing us which furniture we could have. She also offered to take us to the thrift stores around town since we don't know where any of them are. What, your landlord doesn't offer such services? Then she invited us to the benefit concert she's throwing at her house for one of the private hospitals in Tauranga. She also offered to try and hook Mark up with a job and then tried to set Katy and i up with her current tenants. Dear Ali Martin, i love you.
*i must make an amendment to my previous statistic on sheep and kiwis. The current sheep to Kiwi ratio is actually 10:1. My baaaahhd.*
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